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Top 10 Greatest Quotes by Oregon’s Chip Kelly

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  • 10. Andrew Luck: QB/Astronaut

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    Oregon’s Chip Kelly is not only the hottest offensive mind in college football. He also possesses a sardonic, Casey Stengel-like wit that has given rise to the phrase “Chipisms.” Amid rumors that Kelly could bolt college football for the NFL after this season, we look at the Top 10 Best “Chipisms” from his time in Eugene.

    “I would like him to be in outer space. If we could get that taken care of, put him in a rocket and send him to the moon for the weekend.”

    Last November 8, Oregon was ranked No. 7 heading into a road game at undefeated and fourth-ranked Stanford that had Pac-12 and BCS championship implications. In addition to getting its offense in gear, the Ducks would also have to stop the Cardinal’s star QB, Andrew Luck.

    Kelly was asked at a Ducks press conference whether he preferred to defend Luck when he was “out in space” and on the run or in the pocket. In a clever play on words, Kelly said he would rather see Luck in outer space so that his defense wouldn’t have to deal with him.

    The coach’s desire to fast-track Luck into the NASA program proved unnecessary as Oregon’s D forced Luck into three turnovers in a 53–30 win.

  • 9. Not “Banking” on Recruiting Websites

    “I’ll give any teller who gives me a lollipop four stars.”

    Since taking over as Oregon’s head coach prior to the 2009 season, Kelly has filled his roster with talented recruits such as RB De’Anthony Thomas. By Kelly’s definition, “talented” means fitting Oregon’s system much more so than “ranks high on recruiting websites.”

    In February 2010, Oregonian columnist and Portland radio host John Canzano spoke with both Kelly and Oregon State’s Mike Riley about their National Signing Days. Both coaches derided the star rating system used on Rivals.com and other similar websites, and Kelly said he’d start rating banks the same way based on whether they give him lollipops.

    Kelly’s message to fanboy websites was clear: I will always know more and better than you.

    Photo Credit: Jason O. Watson/US Presswire

  • 8. He’s a Football Player, Not a Sandwich Shop

    “De’Anthony’s pretty good. D’Angelo is a great restaurant back east. They sell great subs.”

    Oregon’s 43–28 victory over Washington State last October was due in large part to De’Anthony Thomas, who caught a 45-yard TD pass to open the second half and returned a kickoff 93 yards for another score later in the third quarter.

    But that didn’t stop ROOT Sports sideline reporter Jim Knox from calling the freshman “D’Angelo.” When Knox asked Chip Kelly about “D’Angelo” following the game’s conclusion, Kelly corrected him and gave a shout-out to a little-known New England chain of sandwich shops.

    In that moment Kelly proved that despite living and working in Oregon, part of his heart will always be in New Hampshire - where he grew up, went to college and coached before coming to Eugene.

  • 7. Are You There God? It’s Me, Nick

    “I don’t know. Could be God.”

    Kelly will always have offense on his mind first and foremost. So much so that he’s completely hands-off when it comes to the defense of longtime Oregon D-coordinator Nick Aliotti (pictured).

    “Coach Kelly, in four years, has never once gotten on the phone during a game, or come into our meeting, and complained, criticized, or said one thing negative about our defense,” Aliotti told SI.com’s Stewart Mandel in September. “In fact, he’s given it high praise 99 percent of the time.”

    So when once asked who Aliotti speaks to on the phone during games, Kelly responded with the above quote. Even if Kelly didn’t mean to when he first said it, he’s essentially saying that the only person or being that Aliotti has to answer to when it comes to running his defense is a higher power. It’s a deep, metaphysical concept that the large hippie population of Oregon can dig.

    Photo Credit: Kirby Lee/US Presswire

  • 6. Cheap Chip

    “I’ve worn the same practice visor since I got here in 2007. I’m just trying to save the school money.”

    With Uncle Phil Knight as its primary benefactor, Oregon has been able to invest in the latest and nicest creature comforts an athletic department can enjoy. A $68 million addition to its Casanova Center. A high-tech social media hub known as the “Quack Cave.” New uniform after new uniform after new uniform.

    Chip Kelly could probably have a clause in his contract that promises him a new visor for every practice and game. Yet he’s now at the tail end of his fourth season wearing the same green practice visor with a yellow “O.” It’s not actually a fatigue green visor. Age has just made it appear that way.

    “I’m going to take it as long as it can go,” he told reporters in August. He also jokingly (Oregon fans hope) added, “And when the visor breaks, I’m gone. That’s the end of it.”

  • 5. A Word on Our Sponsors

    “We’re going to go drink some Dr. Pepper and mail our Christmas presents with UPS!”

    Most coaches interviewed at midfield following a big win talk about how much heart their team has, how much they’ve overcome or other tired clichés like that. After his team’s victory in the Pac-12 Championship Game last December, Kelly opted to give a tongue-in-cheek plug for the game’s presenting sponsors instead.

    And hilariously, the crowd at Autzen Stadium went wild in response to his unconventional postgame choice of psych-up words. (It’s worth noting Kelly had been asked several questions in the pregame press conference whether the sponsorship banners hung in the stadium for the game would affect his team.)

    We’d love it even more if Kelly chose his words based on the “brought to you by Carl’s Jr.” gag from Mike Judge’s Idiocracy.

  • 4. Musings on Thermonuclear War

    “Opening statements? Is this a debate? LaMichael, thermonuclear war. Are you for it or against it?”

    Kelly is surely not the only head coach to show his annoyance with the media pomp and circumstance that now accompanies every big game. However, he might be the only one to poke fun at it.

    Fresh off his team’s 2011 Pac-12 title game win, Kelly entered the media room along with RB LaMichael James and was asked to make an “opening statement,” standard phrasing used in introducing someone at a postgame press conference.

    Kelly couldn’t help himself and chided the Pac-12 media relations coordinator, asking him if he was in a debate and then turning to his running back to ask for his thoughts on thermonuclear war. The manner in which James exclaimed “Hmmm” and pretended to think about the matter showed that he was very much used to his coach’s quirks.

  • 3. Vince Vaughn-ism

    “I kept thinking of Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers screaming, ‘Erroneous! Erroneous on all accounts!’ ”

    Even someone with Kelly’s unique sense of humor draws upon other pop culture references from time to time, such as when he invoked a Wedding Crashers quote during a January radio interview in which he addressed the job offer he received to coach the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

    No, not “Rule No. 76: No excuses, play like a champion.” The equally hilarious “erroneous on both counts” quote that Vince Vaughn blurts out in response to rumors that wedding crashing pioneer Chazz Reinhold (Will Ferrell) “lived with his mother until he was 40” and that “she tried to poison his oatmeal.”

    That Kelly slightly misquoted Vaughn’s character, saying “all accounts” as opposed to “both counts,” is a minor detail. He’s a Frat Pack fan just like all of us.

    Photo Credit: Kirby Lee/US Presswire

  • 2. Football Throwing = Booger Flicking

    “Let me show you how to throw a football. You gotta flick it like a booger.”

    Ladies and gentlemen, we present the Chipism that started it all.

    While the @Chipisms feed has only been around since 2010, the idea for it came about three years before, during Kelly’s first season as Oregon’s offensive coordinator.

    The three former Oregon students that are the brains behind @Chipisms were waiting in line to buy Ducks’ basketball tickets and tossing a football when Kelly — who none of them knew — walked by and kindly offered them a basic (if unconventional) throwing lesson.

    Don’t be ashamed if you pick your nose and try throwing a spiral with it to test out Kelly’s maxim on passing. You won’t be the only one.

    Photo Credit: Tim Heitman/US Presswire

  • 1. Bashing and Benefiting the Media

    “The sports reporters are very underpaid in this state. There should be a pension system for them and maybe some of them could retire early.”

    Our top choice for Chip Kelly’s best quote epitomizes what makes his responses so memorable. Even though he’s often impatient with members of the media, he gives them the sound bites that they crave. And he’s so good that he once insulted them by saying he wished they would get out of his face and they still ate it up.

    If Kelly continues to stay in college football and provide us with gems like this, we won’t want to retire early. We’ll work for free just for the opportunity to see what his one-of-a-kind wit will come up with next.

    Photo Credit: Kirby Lee/US Presswire

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