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YouTube Sensations: CFB’s Top 10 Coaching Rants

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Editor’s Note: Rankings based on a combination of comedic value, anger and infamy.

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10. LSU’s Les Miles: “Have a Great Day” (2007)

We’re not sure if he was actually mad or not, but that was the bizarre thing about Miles’ behavior at this press conference that came in advance of the 2007 SEC Championship Game, an eventual 21-14 victory over Tennessee. LSU’s coach was shooting down rumors that he was a candidate to take over for Lloyd Carr at Michigan.

The best part about it? The rambling press conference lasted just over a minute, after which Miles was kind enough to wish everyone a great day.

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9. Alabama’s Nick Saban: “Misinformation” (2011)

Without being prompted by a question, Saban opened an August 2011 press conference, which was supposed to inform the media about the start of Crimson Tide’s fall camp, by ranting about Internet rumors over injuries to Crimson Tide players.

“You all can go crazy out on misinformation and bad information. And have no professionalism to try to find out if it did or didn’t happen,” he said.

Yeah, Saban just wakes up mad.

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8. Florida’s Urban Meyer: “You’re a Bad Guy” (2010)

Orlando Sentinel reporter Jeremy Fowler published a quote from Gators receiver Deonte Thompson, who said John Brantley was a “real quarterback” unlike Tim Tebow, which was unfairly portrayed as a criticism of the Heisman winner.

You know what comes next: Meyer lashed out at Fowler, who claimed all he was doing was quoting Thompson. The former Florida coach threatened to block the Sentinel from covering the team and went as far as to call Fowler a bad guy and say there would be a physical altercation if Thompson was his son.

This heated confrontation at Gators practice illustrated why Meyer needed some time off from coaching. And maybe, a little anger management.

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7. Ole Miss’ Houston Nutt: “50 Years!” (2010)

The Rebels were coming of an embarrassing loss at Tennessee and on their way to a 4-8 season. Nutt thought it was a good time to point out that Ole Miss, which had won consecutive January 1st bowls the previous two seasons, had struggled before he got there.

In case anyone forgot, how many years had it been since the Rebels had turned that trick, coach?

“50! 50!”

Oh, OK.

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6. Indiana’s Kevin Wilson: “61 on the Illini” (2011)

Wilson was a little sour during an appearance on FOX Sports Radio’s “Zakk & Jack Show” last month. The new Hoosiers coach didn’t take kindly to one of the hosts, former Illinois quarterback Jack Trudeau, taking a shot at Indiana before Wilson came on the radio.

Wilson responded in part to Trudeau: “I remember putting 61 on the Illini a few years back, too, when I was at Northwestern and they kinda stunk at the time, too.  Anyway, I got some things to do guys, waddya guys need?”

Shortly after, the uncomfortable interview was cut short by the hosts who criticized the coach for being rude. Radio hosts and IU resident assistants - who’s next on Wilson’s hit list?

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5. Michigan State’s John L. Smith: “Coaches Screwing It Up” (2005)

We’re used to seeing coaches rail on their players on the sideline. But Smith threw his coaches under the bus as he was walking off the field and being interviewed by ABC’s Jack Arute during a 2005 game against Ohio State. The Buckeyes blocked a field goal and returned it for a touchdown right before the half.

Michigan State had rushed its field goal team in on third down - instead of spiking the ball - barely getting the play off and getting a 12th man off the field. What did Smith think about the decision by his staff?

“The kids are playing their tail off, and the coaches are screwing it up!” he said in a huff.

Well, then.

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4. Oklahoma State’s Les Miles: “Fight & Resolve” (2004)

Here’s Miles again, who never disappoints. This time, he makes an appearance as Oklahoma State’s head coach after a loss to rival Oklahoma in 2004. Miles had this glint in his eye that, frankly, scared us.

Yeah, we know he was just passionate about the Cowboys’ “fight” and “resolve.” In fact, Miles said that he would take his football team and play any “sucker” in the country. That line, combined with the look on Miles’ face, makes us giggle every time.

Oh yeah, Miles also said he looked forward to the future. But it wouldn’t be in Stillwater. Miles left to coach LSU after the season.

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3. Colorado’s Dan Hawkins: “Go Play Intramurals, Brother!” (2007)

Hawkins’ rant is so infamous that he’s known just as the guy who screamed about “intramurals” and “the Big 12!” - and not necessarily by his name. Either way, the best thing about Hawkins’ diatribe is that he tries to lull you to sleep before he rams his point home.

The ex-Colorado coach ranted about parents who had written him a letter suggesting that Buffs players should get more time off. He began like this:

Hawkins (quietly): “Here’s my point, OK ...”

Hawkins (screaming): “IT’S DIVISION I FOOTBALL, IT’S THE BIG 12 ...”

And if you don’t agree with Hawkins? Go play intramurals, brother!

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2. Coastal Carolina’s David Bennett: “Cats & Dogs” (2011)

This is a new addition to the pantheon of rants, but it made a meteoric rise into the YouTube Hall of Fame after the Coastal Carolina coach rambled on last week. It spread like wildfire over the internet, appearing on Yahoo’s home page and the opening block of “Pardon the Interruption.”

Bennett talks about a cat who was loose in his house - doing so in his inimitable Southern accent. Then, he used the comparison of cats and dogs in reference to what type of player he wants on his team.

He wants a dawwwwwwwg. Don’t be a cat, OK?

“Meow!”

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1. Oklahoma State’s Mike Gundy: “I’m a Man!” (2007)

Was there any doubt?

When Oklahoman columnist Jenni Carlson criticized quarterback Bobby Reid after he had been benched, Gundy went nuclear after a win over Texas Tech, unleashing his legendary “I’m a man!” speech. Not only is it the greatest college football coaching rant, it may be the greatest coaching rant of all time.

Roll that beautiful footage.

 
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