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Top 10 Tubby Smith Mustache Tweets

Like many men around the country, Minnesota basketball coach Tubby Smith grew out his mustache in November as part of the “Movember” nationwide program promoting prostate cancer awareness. Only when the month had passed, Smith still sported the hirsute look.

“I think he’s superstitious,” Smith’s wife, Donna, told Charley Walters of the Pioneer Press in December.

Indeed, the Gophers won their first eight games after November ended before falling at Indiana, 88–81, last Saturday. Now, with the mustache’s luck apparently exhausted, Smith is thinking of shaving it.

If that is in fact the case, we’d like to pay tribute to the soon-to-be, dearly departed facial hair with a selection of 10 of our favorite tweets concerning Tubby Smith’s mustache in no particular order.

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 Photo: Brian Spurlock/USA Today Sports Images

There’s nothing quite like a clever play on words. That it reminds us of when Jim Carrey wanted to “ass” Tone Loc’s character a few questions in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective doesn’t hurt either.    

Are you sure about that, Brendan Gordon? Because of the Coen brothers, we naturally assume that if there’s a missing person in Minnesota, it’s because of a bug-eyed “little fella” and his stoic sidekick.    

On the road at Indiana last Saturday, the Gophers fell behind by 23 at halftime (52–29) yet came storming back to make it just a three-point game with 19 seconds to play. So while the ‘stache didn’t pull out a win, it certainly put a scare into Hoosiers fans.

Haven’t you heard, Aaron? It’s actually for a “Coaches of the Big Ten” calendar. In addition to Tubby, you get Bo Ryan warming you up on those cold Wisconsin nights, Tom Izzo ready to serve as your Spartan warrior and such and such.

And finally we reach the “What does Tubby Smith look like?” selection of tweets. Grantland’s Mark Titus, in addition to expressing his admiration for Smith’s ‘stache, correctly points out that Smith “continues to challenge Bo Ryan for the title of ‘the Big Ten coach who looks the most like his school’s mascot.’ ” It’s hard to disagree.    

If Smith could coax his soup-strainer into a full-blown handle bar, we could see him as a black, graying doppelganger of Charles.    

If his team was underperforming this season, Smith — whose August contract extension bumped his overall salary for 2012–2013 to $2 million — could derisively be called “Mr. Moneybags.” But seeing as Minnesota is 15–2 and the No. 9 team in the country, he’s doing a good job of earning his pay.

If there was only some way that we could convince Minnesota’s players to start calling Smith “Papa Smurf” as an affectionate nickname…

Alas, Smith’s mustache needs significantly more length in order to be comparable to the walrus-like Brimley’s. If Smith aspires to be like Wilford, he can always voice his support for “diabee-tus” research.

An inanimate object like Tubby’s soup-strainer — our apologies to Gophers fans who insist that it is a living, breathing organism — doesn’t truly have cult status until someone creates a Twitter account for it. C’mon, Minnesota fans! More than 56 people should be following @tubbysstache!

 
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