CFB’s Top 10 Worst Rivalry Trophies
With the end of the college football season approaching, we know what that means: in-state tussles and other rivalry games are upon us. As such and in honor of the short-lived new Cy-Hawk Trophy, let’s look at some of the worst rivalry trophies that are handed out to the winners of those games.
As you will see, not all teams play for beauties like Paul Bunyan’s Axe between Wisconsin and Minnesota.
10. CMU/WMU Rivalry Trophy (C. Michigan-W. Michigan)
These in-state rivals started playing in 1907 and have played to fairly even results. However, the trophy wasn’t first awarded until 2008.
First, the creators of the trophy weren’t exactly creative when coming up with the name. And the bronze cannon on the top refers to the cannons that blast off at each teams’ stadium after a score. While a cannon is cool and all, it has no significance to the rivalry and we give it a thumbs down.
9. Textile Bowl Trophy (NC State-Clemson)
The trophy was introduced in 1981, when the series was dubbed the Textile Bowl because the teams competing are two of the largest textile universities in the country. The trophy itself isn’t out of the ordinary, but it’s a large cup that has nothing to do with textiles.
Oh yeah, and textiles have nothing to do with football. Double failure.
8. Iron Skillet (TCU-SMU)
We originally thought this was a cool trophy until we saw the light and realized that the two teams are playing for a frying pan.
The tradition began when an SMU fan fried up some frog legs in a skillet before the game and drew the ire of TCU fans who saw their mascot getting cooked. Yep, a story perfectly fit for this ridiculous kitchen utensil trophy.
7. Land Grant Trophy (Penn State-Michigan State)
This rivalry originated in 1993, when Penn State joined the Big Ten. The trophy’s name came from the two universities reputations as two of the nation’s oldest land-grant universities.
With a Nittany Lion and Spartan plus buildings from both campuses on it, have you seen this thing? It’s easier to lift a coach on the players’ shoulders and just a piece of all-around ridiculous hardware.
6. Milk Can (Boise State-Fresno State)
Boise State and Fresno State met for the first time in 1977 and the trophy was introduced in 2005 to spice things up between these then-WAC members.
The milk can was chosen as a trophy because both California and Idaho are two of the country’s top dairy producers, lending local dairy companies to get involved with the meeting between the teams. While Indy 500 race car winners chugging a bottle of milk is awesome, the Boise State-Fresno knockoff isn’t nearly as cool.
Rule of thumb: Anything found in a kitchen shouldn’t be a trophy.
5. Megaphone Trophy (Michigan State-Notre Dame)
Introduced in 1949, the Megaphone Trophy is just as it sounds: A trophy of a megaphone with one side painted blue and one side painted green.
This would be great if it was the prize for a male cheerleading competition instead of, you know, a football game. What’s next, a pom-pom trophy?
4. Telephone Trophy (Iowa State-Missouri)
The trophy started in 1959 after an incident in which the phone wires got crossed so the teams could hear their opponents scheming.
While the nod to history is nice, it’s a trophy of a telephone. C’mon man! That, and the trophy looks like it’s stuck in the 1870s and was designed by Alexander Graham Bell himself. It’s time to disconnect the service on this trophy.
3. Paddlewheel Trophy (Pittsburgh-Cincinnati)
The history between the teams was minimal prior to 2005, when Cincinnati joined the Big East.
The trophy depicts a brass, engine room telegraph on the front with a lever that sets off lights and the ringing of bells. There also are outlines of the rivers that run from Cincinnati to Pittsburgh, including the Ohio, which served as a gateway for paddle wheel-powered boats that linked the two cities.
That’s all well and good, but we don’t think a trophy should be a cumbersome contraption. Wouldn’t a boat have made so much more sense?
2. The Bronze Stalk Trophy (Ball State-Northern Illinois)
The teams first starting playing for this trophy in 2008 and it’s indicative of these schools from state’s in the Midwest who play in the MAC.
The problem? It’s definitely awkward as parts of the stalks of corn stick out from the base of the trophy. Plus, who wants to play for a bronzed stalk of corn? OK, even if you do, be careful not to poke your teammate’s eyes out when passing it around after the big victory.
1. Tiger Rag (LSU-Tulane)
It’s a rag. What else do you need to know?
Well, this isn’t much of a rivalry between these two Louisiana schools as a one-sided smackdown. LSU, undefeated in 2011, hasn’t lost to Tulane since 1982, the same year that the rag was destroyed in a fire in Tulane. Each half represents a school in the rivalry and was originally introduced to quell rising tensions between the fanbases.
In 2001, the rag was reconstructed as the two schools worked together to reconfigure it based on old photos. The result? Another rag that, well, is a friggin’ rag which looks like it belongs in a trash can.